Do you feel like your friend’s circle is bigger? Probably, you will no longer feel safe or understand. The number of things that can be shared with the people in the customary circle is increasing, making it feel lonely or isolated. If so, you are not alone. Welcome to one of the continuous growth Core Dai Namics!
As we continue to evolve, many of us are struggling to feel that they are not completely conformed to our traditional communities and tribes. We may expand or change beyond the boundaries of the tribal norms, and may not be able to find the same sense of belonging there. Other members may have strengthened the tribal rules to foster a sense of security. As a result, you may feel disconnected or alienated.
In fact, each of us belongs to many tribes at the same time. Your original tribe -you have a family you are born -And there is a community of all the choices you have participated in: Your work tribe, your social world, your faith -based community, your neighborhood, etc. 。 These communities are not static. They are continuous because they are composed of individuals in a continuous change. If you have a lot of changes in either individual or community, you will result in dissonance.
How do you deal with this? First, it is important to recognize that the loyalty of the tribe was historically forged for survival. They have been adapted for centuries to ensure group safety and survival. Survival had to sacrifice individualization for security trading off.
In modern society, the table is inverted. Regardless of whether we enjoy it, the change is essential for survival at every level of existence. The pace of the change is promoted by the advancement of technology and is caused by increasing speed. Sociologists have estimated that more than the past 100 years have changed in society than in the past 6,000 years. At present, individual adaptation is a requirement for survival, and the pace of personal change does not always match the pace of evolving our various tribal communities. The resulting dissonance may cause intense friction and pain.
In addition, the confusion between the concept of “connection” and “community” also causes dissonance. When they are actually involved in different qualities, we tend to equate one with the other. Connections are related to the connection. Objective physical technology or media that can build a community but does not represent the quality of the community. Connections provide opportunities to connect with others through the Internet, text message, telephone, or other social networking options.
The community is the result of building a relationship through meaningful interaction over time. There is no shortcut. This is a process that develops when the bond between trust and intimacy is nurtured and respected.
And there is a warning here: When we confuse the connection with the community, we start non -personality of the sacred nature of the true community and begin the relationship with people as an object. Instead of developing intimacy over time, we are trying to gather friends and buy people loyalty on social network sites. But friends are simply connected. It does not create intimacy.
In fact, social experiments indicate that technically dominated connections can cause alienation and social collapse over time. This is a revolutionary social experiment conducted by Joshhalis, one of the founders of social networking on the Internet, and the community is so exposed by the technologies of 24 hours a day to expose more private lives. I discovered that my intimacy and relationships worsened until collapsed. In violence and self -destructive actions.
When you can revisit the concept of the community and create a tribe that provides true intimacy and a sense of belonging.
In the 1987 book “The Difference Drum: Community Making and Peace”, psychologist M. Scott Peck explained some core features in the true community. Beyond the clear elements of comprehensive, commitment, and participating consensus, Peck pointed out the quality of accepting diversity through realism. When each member contributes to his own perspective from a place of humility and good intentions, the community benefits from a wider perspective to grasp the complete context of the situation. In other words, mutual tolerance does not impose a forced compliance in group thinking and aggregation, but help members accept different perspectives as an essential part of the whole.
In such an environment, members experience and respect each other. They all other people share, learn, grow, and express who they really are. When a dispute occurs, they learn to solve it with wisdom and grace. The members listen to each other’s gifts, respect, accept each other’s limits, celebrate the differences, and promise to find solutions together instead of fighting each.